Counseling for Cancer Patients

If you or your loved one has been diagnosed with cancer or other serious illness, you are likely overwhelmed by a seemingly endless list of questions. How did this happen? What should I do? Why am I so angry? While those around you may encourage you to remain positive, you may feel like you don’t have the meaningful, authentic support of someone who understands the painful situation you’re in.

Illness Causes Wounds That Can’t Always Be Seen

A cancer diagnosis can change everything at the drop of a hat. Whether you or your loved one have been given the diagnosis, your life has suddenly developed a new sense of urgency. And you’re probably stressed by all of the decisions you have to make. 
Not only does your life have to be put on pause to go to doctor’s appointments and treatment sessions, but you’re also struggling with possible pain or side effects and wondering how this diagnosis is going to fit into your life. Maybe you’re fretting about putting projects on hold, how to tell your children, or if you should accept treatment. You want to be aware of your options, but perhaps you don’t feel fully seen or supported by your doctor and medical care team. A lot of jargon and opinions are probably being thrown around, and you just want straightforward answers about what to do and what to expect.
You may be anxious, distracted, or depressed. Huge questions are looming, but you feel exhausted and bogged down by them. Even with the emotional and physical toll this diagnosis has taken, you are kept awake at night by fears and worries. This has likely caused you to become short-tempered and often feel like you just can’t cope. 
But you are not alone in this battle. As someone who has been an oncology nurse and on the receiving end of a cancer diagnosis myself, I understand the worries, fears, and emotions you’re having. In counseling that is customized for cancer patients and their loved ones, I offer support and insight to bring you peace, healing, and clarity. Working together, you can learn to let go of the outcome and focus on what you need to do today.

​Life-Limiting Illness Intensifies All Of Our Emotions
Cancer is one of the most common illnesses, but it’s nevertheless an isolating and devastating diagnosis. It is entirely understandable—and normal—if you are feeling sad, angry, and hopeless in the face of a life-altering diagnosis. 
Unfortunately, those without this experience often cannot provide meaningful support or inadvertently cause more pain. They may focus on how certain individual choices—like diet, drinking, and stress—increase the likelihood of cancer, causing us to feel somehow responsible for the diagnosis. And many times, our loved ones feel like they have the answer about what we need to do in terms of treatment. 
The reality is that we do not need to be “perfect” patients. No study exists that can tell you how to treat your illness in a way that seamlessly aligns with your unique perspective, values, and goals. You are ultimately the expert on how you want to integrate this cancer diagnosis and the role of “patient” into your life—and counseling can provide invaluable support along the way.

What To Look For In Mental Health Services Specialized For Cancer Patients And Their Loved Ones

Jungian psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen wrote Close to the Bone: Life-Threatening Illness as a Soul Journey. In this book, she says, “Seek a therapist whose heart and soul are in it; someone who can see beauty, vulnerability and courage and care for these qualities; someone for whom psychotherapy is his or her own soul work.” 
Therapists cannot be expected to help someone else find healing, affirmation, and peace if they have not had to discover those things for themselves. As a therapist, cancer survivor, and former oncology nurse, it is my passion to support patients and caregivers on their journey in counseling.

​Support For Cancer Patients, Caregivers, And Families At McCormick Counseling, Coaching and Consulting

It’s natural to want to push away difficult emotions and try to hang onto the pleasant ones, but doing either will result in suffering. Therapy is an opportunity to fully experience all of these emotions without feeling the need to blame ourselves or others. And we may even find that more joy and happiness are possible when facing serious illness. 
I make counseling available not just to patients themselves but to any adult impacted by a serious illness or cancer diagnosis, including partners, family members, and caregivers, including physicians, nurses, and healthcare professionals treating those with serious illness. Today, the healthcare professionals who are simply trying to serve patients are exposed to increased stress—at times, rising to the seriousness of trauma. Therapy is a safe, supportive place to explore your experiences, learn coping strategies, and receive support in dealing with the difficult emotions and questions related to your profession.  
Whether you’re a patient or caretaker, using creative, value-driven approaches, I will guide you in the process of figuring out which questions are most meaningful at the moment and how to answer them.

The Therapeutic Journey

My treatment approach is customized to meet each individual client’s needs. I may incorporate elements of behavioral therapy to help you reframe anxieties, fears, and anger. And because a cancer diagnosis often invites so many disparate feelings, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can be helpful for patients and caregivers to enhance self-compassion in counseling. I’m also likely to incorporate holistic approaches—including mindfulness, meditation, and time spent outside—to encourage presence of mind and relaxation. 
In addition to improving daily habits and outlook, we will use counseling to reframe the completely natural anxieties and fears you might have around death. In his work with cancer patients and their families, clinical psychologist Dr. Lawrence LeShan researched how improved mental health could lead to more positive outcomes for his clients. Viewing cancer as a “turning point” for patients to clarify their goals and re-establish their values, he encouraged his clients to focus on daily joys and victories—what was going right with them instead of what was going wrong. 
Drawing from this model, we can work together to create new questions that might look like:
  • What motivates you to get out of bed today? 
  • How would you be spending your time if at the end of every day, you went to bed feeling tired yet satisfied?
  • What would the world look like if you could imagine your circumstances adjusting to you—rather than you adjusting to them?
  • In essence, how can we create a daily experience that feels fulfilling right now rather than one that is concerned with the outcomes of the future?
While changes in perception and insight aren’t always linked directly to improved physical outcomes, they do result in improved mental and emotional well-being. Through our work together, you will develop more trust in yourself, your caregivers, and your treatment team. With newfound appreciation for what you can and can’t control, you can find peace.

​What Are Your Worries? Let’s Explore Them Together…

I’m terrified that I am going to die.

This is the most common fear I hear as a therapist specializing in counseling for cancer patients. The truth is that ​all of us must face the truth of mortality—your diagnosis has just made this reality more present in your life at the moment. 
There are many ways that therapy helps to relieve some of the very normal anxieties you may have about death. We will work together to figure out which approach will help you thrive and accept this reality. 

I feel so alone in my diagnosis.

There will be many opportunities for you to foster connections throughout this process. Aside from individual counseling, many group therapy options exist that can help you find support alongside fellow cancer patients. I will help you explore the resources available to you and provide ongoing, empathetic support in our sessions together. ​

My healthcare team has recommended that I enter a clinical trial for my next treatment. Can you help me determine if this is something I should do?

Patients have a lot of questions about clinical trials, including Will I be a guinea pig? Is this a safe treatment? Does my doctor’s suggestion mean that I have run out of more conventional options?
As someone with extensive experience in healthcare settings and an understanding of clinical trials, I can help you sort through your options. In therapy, we can collaborate on a list of questions for your healthcare team so that you can be confident about the treatment you receive.

I am struggling to support my partner with cancer. I juggle so many responsibilities between work and home while battling my own inner turmoil. I feel terrible about this, but I am beginning to resent my partner.

It is really good that you are talking about this—a lot of caregivers struggle to be this vulnerable or honest about the very normal feelings you’re having. Keep in mind that you can’t do everything and that it won’t do any good to have you get sick or be otherwise compromised during this time. 
Counseling is available to partners and patient caregivers of those with cancer. Together, we will identify ways for you to get support and introduce breathing/mindfulness exercises into your routine to decrease overall stress. 

Listening To Cancer
If cancer has affected your life as a patient, partner, or caregiver, counseling can offer meaningful emotional support and healing. Contact me to schedule a free consultation.