Cancer or Life-Limiting Illness

A cancer diagnosis changes everything. A seemingly endless list of questions appear. How could this happen to me, or to my partner, mother, brother, friend? Am I going to die? Did I cause my cancer? Should I continue treatment? Am I hurting myself by putting toxic chemicals into my body? I’m depressed—but isn’t that to be expected? What do I tell my children? Why am I so angry? I don’t understand much of what my doctor is telling me. How will I get through this? People tell me I must be positive or I won’t ‘win’ this battle, but that’s not how I feel.

Human Nature

Simply being human ensures that we will be sad, depressed, anxious and will grieve.  But we will also feel joy, peace, contentment, love and compassion. Receiving a diagnosis of cancer or other life-limiting illness can intensify these feelings. It’s natural to want to push away difficult emotions and try to hang on to pleasant ones. But doing either results in suffering. Can we learn ways to fully experience all of these emotions, without blaming others or ourselves? Is it ok to be sad? Is it possible to experience even more joy and happiness while facing illness?

Cancer as a turning point

In his work with terminal cancer patients, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Lawrence LeShan, explores what is right with his patients - What would make you happy to get up in the morning, looking forward to what you will do today? What would you be doing if at the end of every day you would go to bed tired, but good tired? What would you be doing if your life were physically, spiritually, and emotionally in harmony? What would your life be like if you could imagine the world adjusting to you, rather than you adjusting to it? Despite the seriousness of their illnesses, almost half of his patients went on to experience long-term remissions. Whether these questions are explored through personal or group work, the process is deeply meaningful and has the potential to dramatically improve participants’ emotional state and quality of life.

Spirituality

That which gives meaning to life. A sense of connection with others, music, art, nature, organized religion, awareness or belief that there is more to life than that which is visible—all define spirituality.  Facing a diagnosis of cancer and our own mortality brings us face to face with the ‘big’ questions.  What am I here to do? Have I made a difference? Will I be remembered after I’m gone? These are questions we each must answer for ourselves, but it helps to hear others’ perspectives.

On choosing a therapist

In her book, Close to the Bone: Life-Threatening Illness as a Soul Journey, Jean Sinoda Bolen, M.D., author and psychiatrist, explains how to choose a therapist for this work. ‘Seek a therapist who loves the work - whose soul and heart are in it; someone who can see beauty, vulnerability and courage and care for these qualities; someone for whom psychotherapy is his or her own soul work. For how can a therapist help someone else find soul in life if they haven’t found it in themselves? When your life depends on finding meaning, creativity and joy in life, the guide to your process has to have found his or her own way there.

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